“OMG, I cannot wait to be engaged so we can negotiate our Prenup!” … said no one ever.
Prenuptial Agreements, also known as Premarital Agreements, are not fun or romantic. In fact, they often create added anxiety and stress for a couple preparing to be married. These Agreements generate feelings of uncertainty and anxiety because when this formal legal document is presented, one partner will likely read through and quickly wonder what legal rights they are waiving when they say, “I do”.
Traditional Negotiation Process for Prenuptial Agreements
In a traditional model, each member of the couple presents their questions and concerns about the Agreement to their family law attorney privately. The lawyers representing each partner circulate revisions to the document, and follow up meetings and phone calls occur between clients and their attorneys to discuss the motivation behind the requested changes.
After weeks or months of exchanges, compromises are reached, and the Agreement is finalized for execution. This type of arms-length strategic negotiation can feel very adversarial and awkward for a couple that may also be simultaneously planning their wedding celebration.
Benefits of Using the Collaborative Process for a Prenuptial Agreements
On the other end of the spectrum is the Collaborative Process. Under a Collaborative model, couples will have a vastly different and largely more positive experience in preparing their Agreement.
Here are the Top 5 reasons why couples should use the Collaborative Process to develop their Prenuptial Agreement:
1. The Process Provides a Supportive Team
Instead of lobbying proposed terms of the Agreement back and forth between lawyers, both you and your partner’s collaboratively trained attorneys will meet all together to prepare the Agreement as a team. The Team may also include a mental health coach and neutral financial professional, as may be appropriate.
The professionals involved share the objective of helping you and your partner reach an Agreement that accomplishes both partner’s Goals and Interests into the future. As such, the discussions are constructive and far less anxiety provoking because the couple is supported by their attorneys and any other professionals serving on their Collaborative Team.
2. You and your partner sharpen your communication and problem-solving skills
A traditional model does not necessarily provide an opportunity for you and your partner to talk openly about any issues that might arise when preparing an Agreement. At the outset of the Collaborative meetings, the future spouses and their attorneys sign a pledge committing to being honest and communicative during the discussions about the Agreement, and to acting in good faith at all times.
A Collaborative approach offers a setting where partners will have their questions and concerns addressed in a constructive manner, offering an excellent opportunity for future spouses to prepare for the difficult conversations that may arise later during the course of their marriage.
3. The Process ensures each partner’s questions are answered openly and honestly
When working with your Team, there are open and transparent discussions of all questions and concerns that may arise. The attorneys will provide legal advice to both clients during the meetings. If any discussion about the law or the meaning of any aspect of the Agreement occurs outside of a meeting, this information will be shared with the Team during the next meeting.
This way both partners feel confident that they are relying upon shared information to make decisions about the Agreement, and the risk that something is misunderstood or misinterpreted is greatly reduced, if not eliminated altogether.
4. You craft a thoughtful Prenuptial Agreement that reflects both partner’s “Goals and Interests”
When the Agreement is prepared by the Team, it is a reflection of thoughtful discussions and decisions made by the couple during the meetings. This is in part because at the outset of the process, the Team spends time preparing a listing of each partner’s Goals and Interests. Simple examples of Goals and Interests might be “to ensure we each can maintain the same or similar lifestyle if we separate”, “to have housing stability,” or “to minimize tax obligations in the event of a divorce”.
Agreements drafted within the Collaborative Process are high quality legal documents that are reflective of both partner’s respective Goals and Interests, and lay out a plan for how the marital partnership will practically operate in the future.
5. You can plan your future together as partners – not adversaries – and return to the Process whenever needed
Drafting and executing a Prenuptial Agreement within a Collaborative Process provides a balanced power dynamic between two individuals who are about to start their marital partnership.
Instead of feeling the tension of strategic negotiations and posturing under a traditional model, the Team prioritizes both parties’ Goals and Interests, and focuses on the development of terms that will meet both individual and shared financial objectives into the future. Furthermore, the Team can reconvene to help the couple at any point in the future, if changes arise and modifications to the Agreement may be needed.
Find a Collaborative Professional for Prenuptial Agreements in Virginia
For all of these reasons, the supportive structure of the Collaborative model is the ideal process for all individuals who desire a Prenuptial Agreement. To learn more, contact a Virginia Collaborative Professional today.
About the Author
Stephanie Smith is partner with the law firm of Cooper Ginsberg Gray in Fairfax, Virginia, where her practice focuses solely on family law matters including prenuptial agreements; divorce; property division; custody, visitation, and support matters; post-divorce modification and enforcement matters; protective orders; and uncontested adoptions. She is active in the Collaborative community through her work as the Public Outreach Committee Chair of the Virginia Collaborative Professionals (VaCP), the Professional Development Chair of the Collaborative Professionals of Northern Virginia (CPNV), and as an attorney member of International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP).