BLOG BY Dr. Leah Nathan.
Valentine’s Day is almost here. While some view Valentine’s Day as nothing but a commercialized day – for others, it is a day when the absence of a past relationship stings a little bit more. Scrolling through social media images of love that are splashed all over your timeline can be a real downer. A friend showing off her flowers, your neighbors going on a date… all reminders of “what used to be.”
Coping With the Holidays
It is natural to reminisce on the positive (and even the negative) times you had with your spouse on this day. Remember it is OK to grieve, it is OK to be sad, and it is OK to feel alone. Special days and holidays are some of the most devastating times for those going through a divorce. Your mind has been programmed for years to celebrate love and romance on Valentine’s Day, but this year you find yourself with a broken heart.
Try this instead… You can use cognitive reframing to pull yourself out of the rut. Remind yourself that you ARE lovable and fully capable of celebrating on your own. As Miley Cyrus would say, you can buy yourself flowers! You can treat yourself to a movie, enjoy dinner out with other single friends, splurge on a new outfit, work up a sweat at the gym, or spend some alone time at home with a book. You can show love to others – whether it’s an elderly neighbor who is alone or even a dog who could benefit from a “day out” of the shelter.
Redefine what Valentine’s Day means to you now – and how it can be celebrated differently this year and in the future!